Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
