i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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