I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
