Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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