I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize