woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
