So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
