So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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