it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
