You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
