You can't motorboat a personality
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
