Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need water and some morals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
