Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
