I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize