If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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