Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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