Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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