I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
