we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
