..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
