Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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