I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
