Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
