Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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