He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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