Apparently you make a good broom.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They have beer where we have blood.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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