You made me cry and you don't even care
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
