Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
