Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
