Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
