i just wanna soil my oats bro
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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