Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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