She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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