Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
