I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
