i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
