i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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