I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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