now i know why i became what i already was.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
