My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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