hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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