I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize