It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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