are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
