i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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