Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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