Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
