was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
