Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you win again, gameday.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
