if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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