weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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