I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have already put on my inside pants.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
