taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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