Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's the barista slut.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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