well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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