so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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