he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
