And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
