That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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