I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
