I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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