Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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